How To Be Happy

The Long and Winding Road

It’s unusual to remember your very early childhood, but I do. It was a very good time. I was very happy. We lived across the road from my maternal grandmother and my mom and dad were loving and kind. At the age of four, life began to change. My mother told me that I was fat and began to monitor my every bite. I weighed 40 pounds which is the average weight of a 4 year old. My mother was anorexic and her view of life and beauty became mine and my self esteem ceased to exist. I loved my mother dearly and from that day on, I never measured up in her eyes. My life became a living hell, always striving and never attaining, reaching for the illusive state of perfection that does not exist. I struggled aimlessly until about a year ago. I can truthfully say that I have discovered the key to happiness. At the age of 62, I am finally happy.

Make Some Decisions

January of 2018 I decided that I would create a life that I loved. Although I was at my WW goal, I had high blood pressure, insomnia and anxiety. I was taking three medications. I was living in an abusive environment. I had been out of the workplace, full time, for over 20 years working with my special son, who graduated from college, and nobody believed that I could or would do anything else. After all, I had financial security, right? My abuser even asked incredulously. “How could you survive “? Seriously? I’m a nurse. I figured out what I wanted for my life and I knew that it was possible, but only one way…hard work in every area. Nursing is hard when you’re 25 and been at it a few years. I was 61 and had been out of it for 25 years. I also had to arrange living quarters. A good paying job was necessary if I wanted to be truly free.

Make Plans

In January I laid my plan. Along with getting free, I also wanted to get profoundly healthy and come off all medications. I wanted to get sculpted and strong. I wanted to live a focused, efficient life. I admired David because he is serious about health. I knew that with his military background that he could help me and that he would accept no excuses. I had to be inspired and pushed. He began to coach me and as my strength grew in my body, my mind grew more. I found my identity in the Iron. It gave me a true measure of my strength and dedication because let’s face it, The Iron Never Lies. (Henry Rollins)

Implement Your Plan

This can be the most daunting step to a fulfilled life. It’s easy to talk the talk. Walking the walk takes grit. It’s necessary to decide if you want peace or panic. Do you want  decisions or drama? Do you really want this life that you have envisioned enough to dig in, work hard, work harder and then do it again or do you want to complain about being unhappy? Old habits die hard.

Remove unnecessary negative influences from your life.

Negative people and habits are stress. In order to live a fulfilled life, these things must be removed because they drain the energy that you need for building good things. We have X amount of energy. If we waste it on drama and bad habits, we will never become all that we can be.

Commit to the long haul.

Remember, you are CREATING a new life. This is not going to end until your life is over. It is quite literally, a lifeSTYLE. Go in deep. Change everything that needs to be changed. Work hard.

There is a law of science that something can’t be created out of nothing. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. There is only so much. Use yours to create.

Feel the burn.

Acknowledge the difficulty of your endeavor and glory in small successes. Acknowledge your strength in overcoming and persevering. Acknowledge helpers along the way. And then compare this level of difficulty to the level of pain and suffering associated with being a slave to your old life…and breath.

Take care of your body.

Be healthy. Most of the time, it’s a choice. Do healthy stuff. Avoid unhealthy stuff. It’s that simple. Don’t eat sugar.

Take care of your mind.

Think about positive things. Love, honor and respect those who deserve it in your life. Give in. You don’t always have to be in control. Find one person that you can truly trust and revel in that knowledge.


Sometimes we make a mountain out of a molehill and walk off into that mountain and die from exposure and starvation. Don’t do drama, period. Just don’t. You will never be happy if you are like a leaf in the winds of emotion. Walk away. Work out. Preserve the good things that you have achieved and always remember to be thankful.

If you do these things, you will be happy. ;-*

2 Comments Add yours

  1. David Yochim says:

    You have to be proactive in reaching out for happiness. No one will just hand it to you.

    Your message is spot on Brenda Sue.

    1. Brenda Sue says:

      Thank you, David!

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