Valentine’s Day Blues

photo by suttipunfpik@freepik.com

You Don’t Have to Like Valentine’s Day!

Let me just begin this article by saying that I unequivocally hate Valentine’s Day. Yep, I said it. I would just bet that a large number of you feel the same way but have never voiced your opinion. I mean, after all…it’s Valentine’s Day right? A day of love…Not really, it has the highest suicide rate of all of the Holidays. (1) The National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255 (TALK). Make that call if you are thinking about self-harm.

photo by wayhomestudio@freepik.com

Chocolate Memories

When I was a child, I truly loved this chocolate-filled Holiday. The psychological implications were irrelevant to my existence as a young child and I just couldn’t wait for my Daddy to walk through the door with two boxes of chocolate magic. I knew that it was magic because that day was the only day in the year that my beautiful, but anorexic, Mother allowed me to eat candy with abandon. We would receive those heart shaped boxes with the glee of toddlers on Christmas morning and rip the ribbons off and dig in. We would watch T.V. and eat all of the best chocolates out of the box by about 9:PM and then we would begin cracking the others open to see what abominations lay inside. Over the course of the next week or two, even those would slowly disappear. I believe the mocha cream was the last to go. I believe that some of our fascination with this day is that we think that we have a license to gorge ourselves on chocolate and somehow think that those calories don’t count.

photo by drovnin@freepik.com

Ribbons and Lace

As I grew up and went to school, I loved sealing store-bought valentines the night before the magical day for every child in my class. I wrote their names on them. I was taught that no one could be left out. We always bought enough to give one to everybody even if it meant having a lot left over. We were not well-to-do but this was just good manners. Not a single child could be overlooked. Apparently, all parents didn’t feel that way. There were a lot of kids who would just give valentines to their best friends. What that meant was that there were some kids who only got one valentine, mine. I got one from everybody, I think, and I always felt so bad to see those children who had learning disabilities, or had some other trait that made them unpopular, crying looking at their almost empty bag. It had begun. The forced affection of the day was apparent in having to give a valentine to kids that I had just as soon punched in the face. The sadness and depression that this damnable day could invoke in some already sad people was on blatant display.

photo by wayhomestudio@freepik.com

Honey, I’m Ho-me!

In adulthood I began to observe the strange traditions that are central to this day. Married couples that argue all the time feel compelled to gift each other and feign affection on this day much to their dismay. God forbid that anyone forget! That’s just another excuse for a shouting match. Ladies, do you really want flowers if you have to raise Hell to get them? If your man is buying you a gift to avoid an argument, is that a good thing? Romance by it’s very nature has to be spontaneous, otherwise it’s just another job, like taking out the trash. Don’t allow a lapse in memory or simply his not looking at the calendar rain on your parade. This day has nothing to do with his feelings for you. It’s a commercial, economical farce that manipulates and plays on our emotions.

photo by wavebreakmedia@freepik.com

Serious Business

We often describe the feeling that we may have after a lost love as having a broken heart. It’s a real thing, and on Valentine’s Day those feelings run rampant.  “Broken heart syndrome is a temporary condition that can cause chest pains that may mimic a heart attack. It comes on during a stressful situation and may include an enlarged heart that doesn’t pump well, although the condition normally subsides along with the overwhelming stress.” (2) If you have symptoms of a heart attack such as chest pain and difficult breathing, call 911 and get to the emergency room as quickly as possible. The same stress that brings about Broken Heart Syndrome can bring on a heart attack.

photo by Racool_studio@freepik.com

Make It a Good Day

The same tricks work on Valentine’s Day that work on every other day of your life. If you are struggling with negative emotions, it’s even more important to stick to your good nutrition and activity routines. Avoid sugar. It will make you more emotional with the insulin dump you will get to digest it. You will already have excess cortisol, your stress hormone, circulating if you are overly emotional. You don’t need to keep throwing logs on this fire. If you work out, with your doctor’s permission make it a good workout. It’s good for stress. Eat well-balanced high protein meals rounded out with complex carbs. Get your rest. Good self care will see you through the most stressful of times. And for Heaven’s sake, avoid sad songs, movies and people! Avoid anyone who stresses you out. This is a good practice every day but especially if you are struggling yourself on a difficult day of the year. Take the time on this day to care for yourself. Don’t expect or wait on some one else to do it.

photo by ASDFpik@freepik.com

Your Choice

Again, it all comes down to making a decision. Are you going to allow Valentine’s Day, a man-made, commercial, economical event to ruin your day or end your life?

C’mon, you’re smarter than that. You’re reading this website.

Take control and create the life that you want to have. The power lies within you.

Get up and go.

 

(1) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/obesely-speaking/201602/valentine-s-day-love-and-the-broken-soul

(2) https://www.ibtimes.com/broken-heart-syndrome-high-suicide-rates-shadow-valentines-day-some-1087418

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Excellent post. Full of philosophical insights and pragmatic advice.

    1. Brenda Sue says:

      Thank you, Dr. Tanya! It’s so good to hear from you❣️

      1. Always a pleasure Brenda.

  2. Jimi Magenheimer says:

    Great post ms.Brenda

    1. Brenda Sue says:

      Thank you, Jimi! It’s good to hear from you. We truly appreciate your support. Take care, my friend.

  3. Jim Magenheimer says:

    Another year gone by as a member of this great group.
    This year this post touches my heartstrings.
    Thank you Brenda for sharing again this year.
    As my broken heart mends. Awareness has me with the nitro close.
    May God our Creator bless and cover those who struggle on this day with grace and mercy
    Peace to all of you groovy people
    Jimi2022

    1. Brenda Sue says:

      Hello Jimi, Thank you for reading and commenting. Think of it like this, most of the “affection” surrounding that damnable day IS NOT REAL. It’s forced almost every time. Both parties may not realize that, but it is. Life is too short for fake and most of it is fake, gifts and affection exchanged due to expectation or demand. Find a good friend or a good dog and make a great meal and chill. Enjoy the real things that don’t expect candy and flowers. A good dog or a good friend just expects you to be you and that’s awesome!

Comments and questions are most welcome!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.